2011

Twenty Eleven.  It's just about here.  Another 45 minutes...

Christmas was good.  My family (dad, brother and sister) played in a boxing day curling event.  Joel took the lovely photo of us below... don't know why it's so fuzzy - Joel must either have had it on a weird setting, or I need a new camera for my surgery present.  Do I get surgery presents?  I think I should!  Yay! More Presents!!

We had lots of fun curling... or at least I did - maybe besides all the sweeping.  I love my family.  LOVE YOU!!

2011 is sure to be an interesting year.  My boss' adoption finally went through.  Everything is ready.  They leave on January 10th to pick up their little guy in Africa.  FINALLY.  Incredible.   At work I'll be training Dawn and "the new girl" Kristina to do my job while I'm away... January 6th is my pre-surgery assessment clinic where they make sure I'm ready and prepped for the big day - they said be prepared for like 4 - 5 hours at the hospital... oh, fun!  It's also likely my last curling day for a while and my last piano lesson for a few weeks too.  On the 7th we're going out with some friends for drinks and on the 12th mom and dad are coming.  We're going out for my "last supper" of sorts - the last one before I figure my life will be forever changed in some way.  Just how changed exactly will be known in the weeks following ... there's no avoiding the 13th - the BIG day.  Less than 2 weeks away now.  Have to be at the hospital before 6:30am.  Yawn.  So many mixed emotions about the whole thing.

Guess I don't have much to say right now, other than Happy New Year.  Joel's gone to bed already (has to work tomorrow) so I guess I'll kiss the kitties at the stroke of 12 instead.

See ya soon,
Me

Lovely, Sad Song

Every now and then, when I'm feeling sad, I want to listen to a song equally sad.  I probably should be listening to something cheerful I know, but there is something theraputic that I find about listening to a sad song every now and then...with no distractions... just the song, sitting calmly somewhere by myself, taking a few minutes to let myself be sad before picking myself back up again.

The perfect song for this, is "Hangin' By A Thread".  Thanks Jann.

When I cry, I close my eyes

And every tear falls down inside

And I pray with all my might

That I will find my heart in someone's arms

When I cry, cry

When I cry, when I am sad

I think of every awful thing I ever did

When I cry, there is no love

No, there is nothing that can comfort me enough

When I cry

Cry, cry

(chorus)

The salt inside my body ruins

Everyone I come close to

My hands are barely holding up my head

Oh, I'm so tired of looking at my feet

And all the secrets that I keep

My heart is barely hangin' by a thread

Hangin' by a thread

Oh, look at me

At all I've done

I've lost so many things that I so dearly love

I lost my soul

I lost my pride

Oh, I lost any hope of having a good life

So I cry

Cry, cry

(chorus)

I miss you all

I wish I was

With you now

I wish I was

Christmas Time!

Well, I have to start off by saying that my husband is the bestest most smartest husband ever because he figured out how I could post pictures on my blog from home!  I don't know why it wasn't working before, but no matter what I tried it didn't work... and now it does.  Thank you Joel!!

Secondly, Christmas has officially arrived at the McNair residence.  We didn't put up our Christmas tree until December 12th - way later than we normally do... and to be honest, my heart just wasn't in it.  I wasn't in the mood to celebrate Christmas this year, and had I lived alone, I'm sure no tree would have gone up.  As it was, I just watched Joel put it up.  I eventually ended up handing him the decorations, but I didn't actually decorate anything - except the 3 dragonfly ornaments that we have that are symbolically meaning to me.  He made me put those ones up and I did...

Putting up the tree has helped lift my spirits and is helping me get into the Christmas spirit... helping me focus on something other than the surgery which happens to be now just under 1 month away by the way!  Holy - 1 month away!

Anyway - here's our pretty silver and blue tree - which no picture can ever quite capture (maybe if you are a photographer I suppose, but for amateur me, not so much)....

Thank you Joel for putting up the tree   :)



Surgery Date

So, just found out the "big day" is Thursday, January 13.  I have to be at the admitting desk at the hospital by 6:30am.  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!  That means I have to leave my house by 6.  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!  I told the lady I was just going to sleep overnight at the hospital instead, haha!

It makes it a bit scarier to have a date now that's for sure.  I'm sure I'll quit shaking any second now.....